My dear minions of the mug, connoisseurs of the cup, I come bearing tales from the latest chapter of our "Quest for the Quintessential PSL" at the famed establishment known as The Hangout. 'Tis a place that Yelp reviews claim would make the Sanderson sisters quit their night jobs and take up barista work for the sheer love of the craft.
Enter the Den of the Pumpkin King
The Hangout loomed before us, promising the comforting embrace of cinnamon and clove, where every sip is supposed to feel like diving headfirst into a pile of leaves while wearing your most forgiving sweater.
Russell, the lad who's about as predictable as a plot twist in a telenovela, surprised us all by lavishing a nearly perfect 9 out of 10 yoga pants on this concoction. Yes, folks, a nine. This coming from a guy who once questioned the necessity of whipped cream on hot chocolate. I suspect he's either going soft or the seasonal brainwash has finally seeped through his defenses.
Sylvya, keeper of my heart and destroyer of poorly-made baked goods, gave it a robust 7 out of 10. "It tastes like pumpkin," she said, which is akin to saying water tastes wet or winter is, you know, kind of chilly.
And then there's me – Jon. I went all in with an 8 out of 10 yoga pants score. That's right, an 8. It's like saying, "This latte might just be the one to make me forsake my bitter, black coffee roots and admit that I’ve been secretly yearning for stretchy pants and a knitted beanie all along." It was good, but was it 'leave my dark roast behind forever' good? I'll need another one to be sure... for research, of course.
The Case of the Competitive Confections
Let's not forget the real heroes of this story: the desserts. With a supporting cast of pumpkin pecan cake, which could easily double as a doorstop with its density; the pumpkin cinnamon cookie, offering the structural integrity of a house built by the three little pigs; and the Oreo chunk cookie, the silent yet deadly show-stealer, outshining the PSL with the effortless grace of a dessert unburdened by seasonal expectations.
We left The Hangout, our mission technically accomplished but spiritually questionable. Russell, now apparently a yoga pants score guru, Sylvya, the Pumpkin Oracle, and I, the once-stalwart defender of coffee purism, now possibly a convert to the orange side.
The Moral of Our Gourd Tale
In the end, what did we learn? That The Hangout's PSL could indeed stand up to the hype, much like that one house on the block that gives out full-sized candy bars on Halloween. It's just that sometimes, the trick (or treat) isn't in the coffee but in the company and the sweet, sweet victory of finding a dessert that can make you forget you're drinking something that's been hashtagged to death.
Fare thee well, my fellow travelers, and may your fall be as basic or as bold as you desire. But always remember, in the grand autumnal opera of life, sometimes the best spice is variety itself.
Signing off with spice and a pinch of sass,
Jon, Sylvya, & Decimal-Free Russell - your valiant voyagers on the sea of seasonal sips.
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